The love of my life and I, were going thru these series of fights and I was wondering why, finally i came to the following understanding:-
In a start of any relation, two people - and excuse my metaphor- would start acting like cats when they sniff each others butts!!
they start to explore and examine each others tolerance, believes, ideas.... etc and that is really normal.
when they get to a point of disagreement, and that's when things seem to go wrong, Subconsciously they start a "mini war" until one side concurs the other, as bad as it may sound like its just true.
They will start to fight thinking that they are only defending their thoughts and believes but they are actually fighting to saw the seeds of their believes in their partners mind.
but at the end of the day it doesn't matter who wins or who loses these "mini wars" all that matters is reaching that point of synergy which will generate optimum understanding.
This optimum understanding will never be reached unless both of the partners are welling to get in-depth with their partners needs and Valuables and actually having the well to adapt and compromise to fulfill these desires -if I may say-
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These are personal understandings based on personal experiences.
Qusai
In a start of any relation, two people - and excuse my metaphor- would start acting like cats when they sniff each others butts!!
they start to explore and examine each others tolerance, believes, ideas.... etc and that is really normal.
when they get to a point of disagreement, and that's when things seem to go wrong, Subconsciously they start a "mini war" until one side concurs the other, as bad as it may sound like its just true.
They will start to fight thinking that they are only defending their thoughts and believes but they are actually fighting to saw the seeds of their believes in their partners mind.
but at the end of the day it doesn't matter who wins or who loses these "mini wars" all that matters is reaching that point of synergy which will generate optimum understanding.
This optimum understanding will never be reached unless both of the partners are welling to get in-depth with their partners needs and Valuables and actually having the well to adapt and compromise to fulfill these desires -if I may say-
------------------------------------------
These are personal understandings based on personal experiences.
Qusai
posted by Third Eye opened at 10:59 AM
5 Comments:
.... what really saddens me is that is that it turns from trying to show each other your believes. to trying to gain the others sympathy and trying to prove that each is the bigger victim....
:(
Clareeish, if emotions were once expressed and the dark side of the past was shared with you that means nothing but that this person actually trusts you that much, every single one of us has been a victim in a way or another, im sorry to say but what i understood from what you wrote is that deeply you think you were a bigger victim and you were trying to prove that in order to show your partner that he doesnt deserv that much of sympathy, all i can say is try to consentrate on solving your problems or should i say winning/raising the white flag to your "mini wars" instead of trying to prove to yoru partner that he isnt a victim.
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ofcourse i can be very much mistaken
I think I was misunderstood .
I'm not saying that you shouldn't have sympathy for each oher bel3ax...iza mo le habibak teshky...
and I don't think in a way my pain is greater than anyones....
what i'm saying it is not a contest of who endoured more in life....cuz ever pain sould be tended for.
!!! was that ever a case between two lovers?
Wise words...
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